UBCC's Val Thorens Ski Social

Ski social is goat, not my words but those of club stalwart Ian Donald (2 in a row). The bar has been set exceptionally high in recent years so I abdicated all responsibility and allowed the infinitely more fun Pricey to organise. Unfortunately, he had too much fun on the Monday and ruined his knee so FINE I'll be social sec if I have to.

10am at Peclet was always an ambitious ask. Sole fresh Cam was there bright eyed and bushy tailed, the seniors trickling in between 10.15 and 10.45. JJ and Waitrose even later but at least Oscar has finally made a ski social after last year's dramatic excuse.

Reviews of the arena night the evening before were scathing at best, the general consensus was that no one actually likes drum and bass and they're all frauds. Le Jardin also sporting a bruised ego as despite his best efforts and numerous tequilas, he couldn't tempt Cam's mate to leave her long term boyfriend.

For the first time in living memory, there were no seasonaires on social and so the standard of skiing plummeted. Genuine hurricane conditions also limited any shredding so after two runs watching Le Jardins best snow plow, we returned to Whitehouse and Barnes' palatial accommodation for a long lunch.

Their flatmate's tunes were diabolical so Cam and Jardin staged a coup, claiming the aux and social never looked back - show me a weak link. Down by Jay Sean the highlight of a showcase of 00s belters, if people want to see the video of the social's DJs smashing the Lil Wayne cameo then do let me know. Waitrose did his much anticipated fresh factor before debates like "I just think artists like Jessie J get unfairly forgotten about" and "is it worth playing Olly Murs on Spotify because you don't get to experience his stage presence" took over. A special mention too for Eric Turner's piano playing on Tinie Tempah's hit Written In The Stars, the music video is something else.

It was Barnes' birthday so naturally he attacked the powerplay, chopping numerous glasses of something loosely described as "wine". He tried to send the entire concept of me as social sec upstairs but impact was umpire's call so see ya.

We attended Bar 360 for more fun but with conditions becoming increasingly farcical, tunes not matching Folie's ABBA tribute or the Spotify queue we'd left behind and the world's most obnoxious Australian confiscating my hip flask, it was a lacklustre experience. The memories of note are Angus offering some flimsy excuses about choosing Rugby's social over us and JJ thinking he's too big time for most of us because he's bowled a bit in the Prem. 

Undeterred by a mixed day, attention turned to the evening. Cam and Jardin (frauds by their very own logic) inexplicably bought Flava D (who?) tickets but quickly realised they would be far happier with the lads doing the Saloon Summit doublé. It was as if we'd returned to our carefully curated pres playlist as we tore up the dance floor for the remainder of the evening. Highlights include Cam being the tightest man in France, Whitehouse trying to claim he isn't related to his girlfriend (they're twins and no one can change my mind) and JJ again refusing the hang out with the lads. There was also a horribly misjudged pot on the black which handed the game to Cam in the early hours.

In a seemingly unprecedented move, ski social rolled over for a second day. The less said about aprés the better (absolute fiasco of an event) but shock, there we all were, back in Summit trying to convince Cam to buy josh shots. JJ loves his girlfriend and hates us, Whitehouse's girlfriend/sister hates that he would prefer to spend time with us and Jardin still couldn't convince Cam's friend to be his significant other. "I have le Jardin on absolute toast" straight from the horse's mouth was the final chapter in this lengthy tale of unrequited love.

All in all, I would like to declare my debut as social sec a wild success. What a club we are.

© University of Bristol Cricket Club 2018