UBCC 3rd XI beat UWE

3’s complete an attractive victory over a UWE side short on enthusiasm.

A rarity in the UBCC cricketing calendar, the boys arrived at The Dingle on a warm and dry Sunday, although God’s day of rest it was not as a complete embarrassment of the other ‘university’ in our glorious city lay in store. 

The warm-up commenced with full quota, as Tando took it upon himself to join the lads for the usual drills this time, meanwhile UWE displayed a lack of etiquette and/or previous cricketing experience and invaded our half of the outfield. To cries of ‘why have they done that?’ they won the toss and bowled first. The sun beamed down ever stronger, as the now seasoned pairing of VDP and Harding strolled to crease. ‘Fill your boots’ was to be the order of the day. 

Farce #1 of the afternoon soon occurred, as the UWE opening bowler, described by his own team mate as “not actually speaking English” nor knowing his own age, proceeded to remove his perfectly acceptable whites shirt in order to bowl in a garish white t-shirt emblazoned with U.W.E and black under-layers. The balcony was baffled, JJ couldn’t hold his giggles back for a good 10 minutes and Brown remained unimpressed. Soon after, the boys were treated to farce #2, a UWE trundler was removed from the attack for endangering lives and bowling dos beamers.

VDP and Harding ticked along at 6’s, both passing 30 with ease, although VDP benefitted from UWE’s inability to catch, bowl or even be seen to try at all. With the score somewhere near 90, VDP fell first and Harding soon followed, but not after providing the lads with a solid platform and respectable 40’s to boot. The Tree and Aarons continued where they left off, rebuilding and passing a 50 partnership to take us up near to 150 until dos farces struck. An over-excited Aarons ran-past one from Ajantha Mendis’ long-lost Bristolian cousin and the same mystery/couldn’t hold-the-ball spinner also removed The Tree. The Tree’s dismissal must be given further scrutiny simply for its comical nature. Taking guard on leg stump and receiving an off-spin delivery, Lloyd managed to get bowled round-his-legs, a fine and impressive achievement. 

After Stov had greeted both dismissee’s in his usual eloquent fashion, Poynton and Fisch cut-loose, striking upwards of 150.0 and accelerating the boys up near the 200 mark. Alessandro Del Piero clearly using his international experience to take the game away from UWE. Circa 14 overs remained and Yoz whispered 300 quietly in Brown’s ear. Captain’s curse or did the middle to late order have other ideas? After Poynton and Fischer had piled them on it looked ever more likely as some clean hacking graced The Dingle and our recently arrived supporters from the walking-football world cup and England masters’ hockey team. Ludo played elegantly and solely over extra to score a quick fire 26 and the innings concluded with JJ being selfish. And yet, despite the farces, nobody passing 50 and some comical dismissals, the good-blokes XI posted a mountainous total of 295 off the 50 and headed to lasagne happy and somewhat shocked at the all-round batting performance. Yoz beamed ear-to-ear.

After the break, the red-caps huddled and skip handed Poynton and Brown the new pill. Early pressure and a new-found discovery that a UWE fresh had claimed to be getting £30 English sterling to dot-up for his club, meant the boys had plenty ammunition to get inside the batsmen’s head and soon the breakthrough came. Frankly, the less said about the UWE batting performance the better. Wickets tumbled at consistent intervals, Yoz bowled areas, Tando actually turned the ball and VDP took a screamer. Fisch supplied large amounts of sauce to the ballon and it hooped, both courtesy of himself and Brown’s immense experience. 

8-down, the largest farce of the day occurred. Defying all logic, cricketing spirit and regard for his own time and the state of the English game, a confusingly lower-ordered UWE bat, with shiny new gears, blocked it for 10 overs. Running out of partners at the other-end and not helped by Aarons’ mysterious lack of catching instinct, his approach never changed. He blocked one for 2 runs but otherwise scored none off the bat and when Brown eventually dismissed the number 11, he was made to seem very silly. 

With this wicket came an excellent victory by over 200 runs and a demolition of those from up the M32. A good days work from all involved and a result the leaves the 3s one win away from being champions.

N.B The largest chomp of the day came via our dear friend social media as the UWE twitter account farcically replied to our announcement of the result with expletives and a clear lack of grace in defeat. 

Bath Ales MOTM: VDP

WG Grace Stylish Player of the Match UBMHC’s Ludo Maclellan

NibNibs Perfect Catch of the Match VDP

Chai Pani DOTD: The Tree

Sandwich Sandwich Wet Sandwich of the Match: UWE’s nibbling paid-to-play bat/ Fisch.

© University of Bristol Cricket Club 2018